Sizing up Salem-Keizer: Hate Em

“Aw, I hate these guys.”

They’ve been the Northwest League champions for the previous two years and they’ve done it in dramatic fashion. Salem-Keizer set the league record for wins with 55 in 2006 and then broke their own record in 2007 with 57. They also have two other championships (1998, 2000) taking up space in the trophy case.

Impressive, but hey, is it fair when you have two cities in your team’s name? Salem used to have their own team, but it moved to Yakima in 1989 and then the town was permanently fused at the hip with the city of Keizer in the sports world when the hyphenated Volcanoes moved there in 1997 from Bellingham (where they were the Giants).

I think we should probably be thanking Bobby Brett right now for not making us root for the Spokane-Spokane Valley Indians, although that would probably make for some very interesting road jerseys.

Two people Indians fans shouldn’t be thanking are Volcanoes owners Jerry Walker and William Tucker who have turned their minor-league operation into a considerable juggernaut. In fact, they should probably be placing those two in the same category as intergalactic emperors who like to build large planet-destroying space stations, and a certain New York Yankees owner who would probably trade his mother for a left-handed pitching prospect.

While there’s no real dirt on these guys, baseball fans should hate consistent winners and root for the underdog. Hence the reason that Red Sox Nation is getting the literal “ugh, it’s those frat guys” treatment from the rest of baseball and the Tampa Bay Rays are curiously creeping up in cap sales figures.

Honestly, the only real reason I hate these guys is the fact that they win all the time. I’m getting pretty sick of watching their weirdly slanted uniform numbers and belching volcanoes logo in the postseason.

And the fact that the San Francisco Giants (their affiliate) stack the Volcanoes roster with a plethora of 25-year-olds that belong in AA, but hey, obviously having a bottom-heavy farm system is working out. The Giants are only 10 games out of first place in their division this year and finished dead last in 2007.

While there’s no other team in the NWL that I specifically root against unless they’re challenging Spokane’s standing, I find an amount of joy when Salem-Keizer has to add another number to the loss column.

When the Indians head down to Salem-Keizer’s home stadium, called “The Crater” (I could probably come up with a more fitting nickname) later this season, I think it will be the first time I’ll be excited to play these guys, but the way Spokane has been playing has swelled my baseball confidence to the point where I’m giving Mariner fans guff about “their major league ballclub.”

Hopefully the Indians can deliver – they have the talent – because there’s nothing worse than watching the Volcanoes celebrate.

And they’ve certainly been doing a lot of it lately.