One Simple Request: Outdated bumper stickers must go!

As the first snowflake of the season drizzled down onto my windshield, I noticed an alarming trend among the cars of the Spokane area: they still have their political bumper stickers on their car.

McCain-Palin and Obama-Biden paraphernalia were everywhere. I am all about national pride and democracy, proclaiming your allegiance, encouraging others to follow your path.

But the election was Tuesday, and I could put a Coke Zero on half of these folks leaving  those on until at least the new year.

Personally, I feel it is a faux pas to leave such propaganda on your vehicle once the event has come and gone. Much like your mother back in Chewelah, who leaves her “My son is an honor roll student at Jenkins Middle School” bumper sticker on her ‘89 Buick Regal, even though you haven’t been to Jenkins since “This Is How We Do It” was cool.

This thought process led me to another idea, one that perhaps sports team faithful should consider shelving their bumper stickers and window decals alike to go with the season.

“Sodo Mojo” decal? Not only taboo because of its timeliness, there has not been any mojo at Safeco in multiple seasons.

“Seattle Seahawks, NFC Champions” license plate frame? Is it there to remind the drivers behind you that the referees are still against you, or because you enjoy being reminded how far they have fallen in two short years?

I won’t bother scratching the still-open wound of the Sonics, it is too soon.

Perhaps some of our creative engineers of the area could concoct some sort of James Bond-esque device that would allow you, with the touch of a button, to rotate your vehicle’s décor. Is it time for spring training? Cue up the Ichiro hub caps, so you may Ichi-roll down the Division Street, impressing the hood. Are the Chiefs on another run to the Memorial Cup? How about a Dustin Tokarski grill on the front of your Escalade, resembling his goalie mask and sparkling WHL-leading 1.55 goals-against average.

Even better, how about a voice-commanded system that would allow you to jump on bandwagons as you please, all with the a simple “go-go gadget Tennessee Titans bumper sticker” order.

That day will come, but until then, please remove your Perot bumper stickers.

Darren enjoys spending his free time rooting for the Portland Trail Blazers and Oregon State Beavers, which, ironically enough for the first time in his life, are the best teams in the Northwest. And he lives in Spokane and cannot see any of them play in person. Cry him a river. If you would like to contact Darren, or send him tickets to the Civil War, click here.